Movie Review Haiku

The adroit auteur
his love letter to war films
damp with Nazi blood

**** (4 Stars out of 5)

Movie Review Haiku

Religulous

Something to offend
all viewers lacking the knack
of patulous mind.

***** stars (out of 5)

Maudlin.

maudlin
–adjective

1.	tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental

Aohkigahara Forest, west of Tokyo at the base of Mount Fuji, is known as the "suicide forest."
There were 2,645 suicides recorded in January 2009, a 15 percent increase from the 2,305 for January 2008, according to the Japanese government. And so, a sign has been posted:


Translation:

Life is a gift you were given by your parents. Please think about them, the rest of your family, and any children you have. You don’t have to suffer by yourself, please give us a call (the Fuji Yoshida Police Counseling Service) and talk to us.


If you're still feeling "up"...
findagrave.com


And because balance is important, here's a box full of kittens.

Some Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die.

• Address the United States Congress.
• Own a Robot Manservant, and treat it so well that he'll protect me from the other Robot Manservants' when they rise against humanity.
  
• Travel to Russia and wear a furry hat.
• Be in a meeting where one of my advisers says "Sounds great! Well the first thing we'll need is a white robe."
  
• Find out the true meaning of my tattoo.
• Travel to Machu Picchu and nap in a shaded corner.
  
• Sit in my personal library surrounded by old paperback books, breathing deeply through my nose.
  
• Train for a Biathlon. Then subsequently realize what kind of commitment this actually entails. Spend the rest of the afternoon at White Castle.

In the meantime, here's some riddles (if you enjoy that kind of thing).

Things that make me sad...

The Rainbow Bridge

Alan Alda

Remakes

People who play Clowns

The New York Mets

Sigh.

My Secret Weapon Revealed.

"If you want to know how to play the blues, live beyond your means."
-- Eric Clapton

Things That Are Harder/Easier...

... now that I have a 4 month old.


Harder:

Going to the Movies.

Sleeping.

Blogging.


Easier:

Dancing.

Singing.

Smiling.


Here's a diversion...

Movie Review Haiku

Let The Right One In

inspired angle

coming-of-age's sweet ache

the twist Vampiric

trailer

**** stars (our of 5)

Spring is here! And STILL the Yankees Suck.

The HeathenBlog is going to completely ignore the snow pouring from the skies like volcanic ash that Bobby Jindal freely mocks, and give a hearty "huzzah!" for making it to Spring! It was a close one, but we did it.

Spring brings flowers. And locusts. But most importantly, baseball.
The WBC is a nice distraction from basketball (with a lowercase b), but we crave the excitement, pageantry, and wholesomeness that is Gary, Keith, and Ron.

We have high hopes for our team this year. What can possibly go wrong?

"Y'all got Honey Nut Cheerios up in here?"

Because he loves them, I love them. Who? Omar Little, from The Wire.
The HeathenBlog is headlong into Season IV, and was very skeptical of those trumpeting this show as "Best Drama Ever".

We'll see...

Magical.

The HeathenBlog is just a sucker for a great fight scene. Who among us can forget Shatner vs. Lizard-Man, Roddy Piper vs. Keith David.

Griffin vs. Bonnar.

Unless, of course, you are not obsessed with violence. Perhaps you should move your things to Switzerland.

Here is, I believe, a found jewel, with the building blocks -- the very atoms -- of what makes a fight scene so glorious. It's not unlike listening to Robert Johnson and realizing it's where Led Zeppelin sprang from.

"Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well."

with a nod to khoward, and his love of ketchup...

The Trilogy Meter...

Very well done, via Dan Meth.

(click to embiggen)

What say you, fearless (or, at least, reasonably hard-to-scare) reader?

Progenitor

Chief Tyrol, on being a father...

"It sucks... except the parts that don't."

New Favorite NY POST Front Page...

Apologies from The Heathen-Blog for our absentee-ism -- we've been a bit... distracted.

But not so distracted to hail our new favorite New York Post Front Page:



Hooray! Long Live The King!


For the record, here's our old favorite (albeit from The New York Daily News):

Lie.

The Heathen-Blog welcomes it's newest reader, Lila Rae.

I think you'll find her comments a bit childish, but have patience. We have big plans...

Lila Rae Mensher

1/18/09

8 lbs., 2 oz.

20 1/2 inches

Movie Review Haiku: The Salton Sea

The Salton Sea

"Tweakers" with a twist
Strong ensemble cast delights
in meth and role-play

**** (4 Stars out of 5)

Some Handy Tips for a Successful New Year...

...from Thelonious Sphere Monk.
He considered these things.
Perhaps we would all do well to do the same.


So for NYE, here's Monk doing Round 'Bout Midnight.



And my thoughts on the year? Best summed up by Love and Death:

Priest: "Mercifully, God was on our side."
Boris: "Yeah. I'm sure things could have gone a lot worse if He wasn't. It might have rained."

Finally.

The Heathen-Blog has so much to be thankful for this season.

Like this.

And this.

Also, this and this. And most certainly this.
Did I mention this? I bet I didn't.

Of course, it wasn't all fun and games... but here we stand, still.
Ready for a new year, full of vim and vigor.
And the future looks very promising.

Have a aggressively wonderful holiday, my cyber-friends...

hb

Heathen-Blog's Top Christmas CD

As someone who came rather late to the Christmas Party, I feel I am uniquely positioned to provide unbiased conjecture regarding Holiday Music.

Growing up a little Jewish boy, my only thoughts about the music from that other side of the aisle was that it was everywhere. And why did everyone look so happy? Thirteen years ago I found out.
Christmas can be pretty great.

So, here is my pick for Best Christmas CD:



Seriously. It's outstanding.

17 songs, each more happy and soulful than the last.

If you don't have this, and you need the spirit, get it.
If you're too strapped this season, write me. I'll get it for you.
James will shriek and implore you until the the spirit burrows into you.


A little taste is HERE.


And for my Jewish friends, perhaps this.

'Tis Coveting Season

Drunk -- "A toast!"
Leo Bloom -- (agreeing) "A toast... to what?"
Drunk -- "To... to toast, I love toast."


I am one of those rare individuals who cannot differentiate between "wants" and "needs".
And so, I really, really need this. More than anything.

The Darth Vader Toaster

I will be completely inconsolable this Holiday Season if I am made to eat toast without Darth Vader's image burned into each delectable slice.

A close second is THIS.

"The Shield" ends. A Haiku.

brutally novel
the addictive thriller's close
leaves me less complete

"Forcible-Culture Fridays"

OZYMANDIAS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Percy Bysshe Shelley, 1818

The Big Apple Film Festival

Click HERE for tickets to our showing at The Big Apple Film Festival...

Congregants across the Holy Land can't stop talking about our film, "He's My Dad".

If you love movies, and have never been to a Film Festival before, here's a great one to attend --
along with outstanding movies -- which because of the Studio System you may never have the chance to see again -- Film Festivals are programmed with Seminars, Panel Discussions, Q & A Sessions, and Parties.
Lots. Of. Parties.

So,
jump HERE for tickets to my film (shown with 5 other great films!).
jump HERE for the whole lineup of The Big Apple Film Festival.
jump HERE for my film's website, oobermensh.com.
jump HERE for a look at the new frame-by-frame Digital Restoration of "The Godfather".
jump HERE for a photo of a tarsir, nature's wisest animal.

All Hallow's Eve

You are never too young (or too old) to enjoy Halloween.

My Favorite Halloween Movies:

The Exorcist III
A Nightmare on Elm Street
An American Werewolf in London



My Least Favorite Halloween Movies:

Beaches
Terms of Endearment
Schindler's List

Zap! Bam! Zing! Wap!

"To name my greatest strength? I guess it would be my humility. My greatest weakness? It's possible that I'm a little too awesome... "

CLICK to see Presidential Candidate Barack Obama's Roast & Comedy Routine at the Al Smith Dinner last night, 10/16/08.

This is worth your time.

Unless, of course, you hate our troops.
Why do you hate our troops?

If you didn't like him before this, you're really not gonna like him now...