Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"The Butcher Bride" by Vince Churchill


The following is my Amazon.com review for Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride"...

(I love this guy's work)




Addictive, like "Paranormal Activity" dipped in liquid Cocaine.

Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride" is a book that you cannot put down.

Like a rusty tilt-a-whirl in Hell's official Theme Park, the story sets an erotically gruesome tone and only lets up because the author seems to sense that you'll need the occasional breath. It takes the classic "Haunted House" story and covers it in lye, burning away the extraneous to get to the sweet marrow that frightens us all.

In "The Butcher Bride", the author skewers not only the characters of the story, but the Media, Hollywood, and those types of people who slow down at traffic accidents hoping for a dark glimpse of Death itself. The writing is special in that the words leap off the page at you with such clarity you'll feel like you're watching a movie.

An enormously satisfying read, you'll be sucked into the pages, at times whimpering to be let out again.



Visit Vince at his site and tell him I said hello...
http://www.vincechurchill.com/

Monday, October 26, 2009

Movie Review Haiku




Paranormal Activity


hype-worthy high jinks
its only Achilles' heel
shaky-cam nausea




***1/2 Stars (out of 5)


Bonus.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Like a beautiful butterfly...

... with hideous dripping fangs.

Really?
Really
, Universe?

You really feel this is best?

Sigh.


(curveball)


Well, times are a' changin' here at Heathenblog, and it either means the frequency of Posts and Quippy Updates will vastly increase or peter out entirely. We'll know soon enough.


(image unrelated, but makes me feel good)


It looks as if I'm starting a new job. A full time job. I'm not sure I can type it out.
More soon.


Monday, August 31, 2009

The Poet's Hovel.



to open up the inner eyes
to see behind, where clear thought
shies away from light,
away from spies
who'd hope to glean
their mask-less guise


And spoil life's one last great surprise.

into this void I'd dare to wade
where shapeless forms likely forbade
those like myself whose timelines braid
one starkly lit
one drenched in shade


Where lives go on but memories fade.







Monday, August 24, 2009

Movie Review Haiku




The adroit auteur
his love letter to war films
damp with Nazi blood


**** (4 Stars out of 5)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Movie Review Haiku




Religulous


Something to offend
all viewers lacking the knack
of patulous mind.



***** stars (out of 5)



Sunday, August 9, 2009

Maudlin.


maudlin
–adjective

1. tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental


Aohkigahara Forest, west of Tokyo at the base of Mount Fuji, is known as the "suicide forest."
There were 2,645 suicides recorded in January 2009, a 15 percent increase from the 2,305 for January 2008, according to the Japanese government. And so, a sign has been posted:



Translation:
Life is a gift you were given by your parents. Please think about them, the rest of your family, and any children you have. You don’t have to suffer by yourself, please give us a call (the Fuji Yoshida Police Counseling Service) and talk to us.


If you're still feeling "up"...
findagrave.com


And because balance is important, here's a box full of kittens.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Some Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die.


  • Address the United States Congress.
  • Own a Robot Manservant, and treat it so well that he'll protect me from the other Robot Manservants' when they rise against humanity.
  • Travel to Russia and wear a furry hat.
  • Be in a meeting where one of my advisers says "Sounds great! Well the first thing we'll need is a white robe."
  • Find out the true meaning of my tattoo.
  • Travel to Machu Picchu and nap in a shaded corner.
  • Sit in my personal library surrounded by old paperback books, breathing deeply through my nose.
  • Train for a Biathlon. Then subsequently realize what kind of commitment this actually entails. Spend the rest of the afternoon at White Castle.

In the meantime, here's some riddles (if you enjoy that kind of thing).

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Things that make me sad...




The Rainbow Bridge


Alan Alda


Remakes



People who play Clowns


The New York Mets




Sigh.


Monday, June 1, 2009

My Secret Weapon Revealed.





"If you want to know how to play the blues, live beyond your means."
-- Eric Clapton


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Things That Are Harder/Easier...





... now that I have a 4 month old.


Harder:

Going to the Movies.

Sleeping.

Blogging.


Easier:

Dancing.

Singing.

Smiling.



Here's a diversion...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Movie Review Haiku




Let The Right One In

inspired angle
coming-of-age's sweet ache
the twist Vampiric


**** stars (our of 5)



Friday, March 20, 2009

Spring is here! And STILL the Yankees Suck.




The HeathenBlog is going to completely ignore the snow pouring from the skies like volcanic ash that Bobby Jindal freely mocks, and give a hearty "huzzah!" for making it to Spring! It was a close one, but we did it.

Spring brings flowers. And locusts. But most importantly, baseball.
The WBC is a nice distraction from basketball (with a lowercase b), but we crave the excitement, pageantry, and wholesomeness that is Gary, Keith, and Ron.

We have high hopes for our team this year. What can possibly go wrong?



Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"Y'all got Honey Nut Cheerios up in here?"




Because he loves them, I love them. Who? Omar Little, from The Wire.
The HeathenBlog is headlong into Season IV, and was very skeptical of those trumpeting this show as "Best Drama Ever".

We'll see...




Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Magical.


The HeathenBlog is just a sucker for a great fight scene. Who among us can forget Shatner vs. Lizard-Man, Roddy Piper vs. Keith David.

Griffin vs. Bonnar.

Unless, of course, you are not obsessed with violence. Perhaps you should move your things to Switzerland.

Here is, I believe, a found jewel, with the building blocks -- the very atoms -- of what makes a fight scene so glorious. It's not unlike listening to Robert Johnson and realizing it's where Led Zeppelin sprang from.




"Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well."


with a nod to khoward, and his love of ketchup...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Trilogy Meter...


Very well done, via Dan Meth.


(click to embiggen)


What say you, fearless (or, at least, reasonably hard-to-scare) reader?


Friday, February 13, 2009

Progenitor


Chief Tyrol, on being a father...

"It sucks... except the parts that don't."




Monday, February 9, 2009

New Favorite NY POST Front Page...


Apologies from The Heathen-Blog for our absentee-ism -- we've been a bit... distracted.

But not so distracted to hail our new favorite New York Post Front Page:



Hooray! Long Live The King!


For the record, here's our old favorite (albeit from The New York Daily News):



Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Lie.


The Heathen-Blog welcomes it's newest reader, Lila Rae.
I think you'll find her comments a bit childish, but have patience. We have big plans...



Lila Rae Mensher
1/18/09
8 lbs., 2 oz.
20 1/2 inches




Friday, January 9, 2009

Movie Review Haiku: The Salton Sea



The Salton Sea

"Tweakers" with a twist
Strong ensemble cast delights
in meth and role-play



**** (4 Stars out of 5)