Fool me once...

Um, no. He won't.

When we cannot even trust the words of a man who favors wearing a feather boa, who can we trust?
This world must be dying.

To cheer yourself up with direction from the Vatican, go HERE.

A Predator/Senate Update!

Yes. It's come to this. A Predator/Senate update.
Sigh. I really had to force myself to write this, but --

Jessie Ventura, "Blain" in 1984's "Predator", is following the lead of Sonny Landham, "Billy" in 1984's "Predator", into the "leader of men" foray. Again.


"The Body" will be challenging incumbent Norm Coleman and tenderfoot Al Franken for the Minnesota Senate seat.

Why Jessie?

"All you Minnesotans take a good hard look at all three of us. And you decide: if you were in a dark alley which one of the three of us would you want with you?"

Hard to argue with the man, as Al Franken would probably belittle your attacker in aforementioned Dark Alley, making the situation much more dangerous for you.
And Norm Coleman would side with the attacker as a matter of Political Principle, offering up all your fears and secrets for a piece of your pie.

Who will be next?

Man, I like where we are heading!

It's a question I'd long been asking myself: who else from the movie Predator can we get to legislate in Washington? I've simply never been satisfied with only two cast mates.

Now, finally, an answer.

Sonny Landham joins Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jessie Ventura in the very difficult transition from feared killer without feelings to Washington Politician. Landham is looking to be the Libertarian challenger to Republican Senate Minority Leader and lothario Mitch McConnell in Kentucky's 2008 Senate Race.

Sonny has been an iconic tough-guy, carving out a niche as the much feared "mysterious and dangerous Indian Guy" in classic 80's blockbusters Predator (as "Billy") and 48 Hours (as "Billy Bear").
He also starred in 1996's Billy Lone Bear, as Billy.
And played Sheriff Billy in an episode of Hardcastle and McCormick.

But sensing a dearth in Washington of former porn-stars who have served time in a federal prison, Landham feels that now is his time to shine brightly again. Sonny is looking to drive (now Pilot) his own Straight Talk Express, saying "PC is BS. Say what you mean, mean what you say."

Sonny needs just 5000 signatures to get his name on the ballot. You can find the petition here.
Of course, please be sure to fill out the petition in strict accordance with Kentucky Law.

Good luck, Sonny!

trivium -

Landham's character was not named Billy in 1975's The Passions of Carol, a hard-core pornography re-telling of Charles Dickens's classic "A Christmas Carol", staring Mary Stewart as "Carol Scrooge" and Arturo Millhouse as "The Ghost of Christmas Past".

Will New Wonder Drug destroy Hollywood?

This week, news broke that scientists at Zurich University in Switzerland found that a hormone that occurs naturally in a woman's body during pregnancy and sex - if marketed correctly -- could solve a myriad of our problems, including shyness.

"Oxytocin" is the key birthing hormone that enables the cervix to open and contractions to work, is released when mothers bond with their newborns, and is released during orgasm.

How would this effect Hollywood? Perhaps shockingly.

It can be argued that what makes one Actor succeed where another fails is exactly that: shyness, or lack there of.

When this "lack of shyness", or "ballsy-ness", occurs naturally - say in the person of a Vince Vaughn, a Sacha Cohen, or a Kristen Wiig - it can bring forth wonderful moments of creative expression in the visual arts. If we were to put that power in the hands of lab-coat wearing, oily-haired men, would that not affect the entire theatrical landscape in a very "left brain" way?

An "oxytocin spray" has also been successfully trialed at the University of New South Wales.

As I think about the future of Entertainment, this is the kind of thing that worries me.

(it's also being developed as a benign form of tear gas, quelling uneasy feelings among people, groups of demonstrators, etc... - I found that to be less important, so I saved it for the end)

Anyone who knows me well -- and there are now over four of you out there! -- know I love a good T-Shirt. If it were up to me -- and Lord knows I'm working on it -- T-Shirts would be de rigueur for every occasion, funeral to bris.

Here's a set I heartily recommend for your next bris...

The "Teach the Controversy" set

link

Very Old Seed

A 2,000 year old seed -- found in Masada -- has grown...

The Date Palm seed, recovered from the famous site of the First Jewish-Roman War, has been radiocarbon dated to somewhere around 205 AD. That's kind of a big deal...

More on the oldest seed ever grown HERE.

More on MASADA, starring Peter O'Toole as "General Cornelius Flavius Silva", HERE.

Monastic Retreat

Things I will be visiting on my 10 day monastic retreat to Seattle, Washington:





Seattle Museum of Mysteries


Archie McPhee's Market


Olympic National Park


Science Fiction Museum


I'll bring you back a magnet...

Movie Review Haiku

The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford

Glacial Art-Western
Fame, jealousy and tension
Lavish visuals

**** Stars (out of 5)

Movie Review Haiku

Lars and the Real Girl

Unexpectedly
moving tale of connections
or the lack thereof.

**** Stars (out of 5)

What if...

Hellboy was drawn by Matt Groening...




Watchmen was drawn by Charles Schulz...

Why not follow this all up with a poem...

Yikes!!

I love horror. Truly, I do. As someone who experiences very graphic nightmares, I appreciate the visceral quality of Joshua Hoffine's work:



Click on the above for some of his work -- I really like "Basement".

The Art of the Title Sequence

Few things make me happier than those first moments sitting in a darkening theater, willing the world to melt away...

HERE is a fantastic place that shares that love, bringing back watchable memories for you and I:

click

It's nice to see the Deadwood opening again, if only for a moment...

Happy 50th Birthday!

Happy 50th Birthday, Peace Symbol!

50 Years Ago Gerald Holtom designed the above symbol.
17 Years Ago I was the only graduate of my High School to have this symbol on my Gold Ring. It did not imbue me with the instant popularity I was looking for...

Click on the above for "This week in Peace History..."

Movie Review Haiku

Southland Tales

First 80 minutes
A work of total genius
Last third, hasty mess

Rating: incomplete (there MUST be a better cut of this)

Movie Review Haiku

Michael Clayton

Excellent Acting
Clooney's smile v. Swinton's guile
Satisfying stuff.

***3/4 Stars (out of 5)

Gone back to Space...

Arthur C. Clarke has left the planet.

Quotes:

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Every revolutionary idea seems to evoke three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the phrases: 1- It's completely impossible. 2- It's possible, but it's not worth doing. 3- I said it was a good idea all along.

I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.

Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case the idea is quite staggering.

We have to abandon the idea that schooling is something restricted to youth. How can it be, in a world where half the things a man knows at 20 are no longer true at 40 - and half the things he knows at 40 hadn't been discovered when he was 20?

The world's now cold, featureless, and culturally dead; nothing really new has been created since the Overlords came...
there's nothing left to struggle for, and there are too many distractions and entertainments.
-- Arthur C. Clarke, "Childhood's End"

Movie Review Haiku

Lust, Caution


Ang Lee's Spy movie

Sexually explicit
Pretty riveting.

***1/2 Stars (out of 5)

Who's Watching The Watchmen?

If you don't know about WATCHMEN, you soon will. Widely known as the greatest graphic novel ever written, Alan Moore's WATCHMEN has been turned into a film by Zach Snyder, he of "300" and "Dawn of the Dead" remake-fame...

Very widely anticipated by geeks and nerds everywhere, cast photos have now been posted on the movie's SITE.

The Comedian

Click here for more...

"Because it's my birthday... and I wants it."
-- Smeagol

IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY

February 27, 2008 -- Your fate is in your hands and anyone who tells you otherwise is not to be trusted. Despite what some might say life is not a meaningless jumble of unrelated events - there is a purpose and a plan to everything that happens. If you can find that purpose and join with it there are no limits to what you can do.

You know, for kids!

It's okay. We'll all just head to the Arctic.

Not that anything's going to happen, mind you, but it's real nice that we're taking precautions...

Tomorrow is the unveiling of The Doomsday Vault. The Svalbard Global Seed Vault - secured behind an airlock door - will hold 4.5 million batches of seeds. All the planet's main food crops. You know - should something happen to our stuff.

If only we'd come up with a Bee-Vault...


I'm actually a huge fan of brussels sprouts, and welcome any apocalypse that will force this unheralded food into the spotlight.

Click on the rendering of the "homey", nuclear blast-resistant bunker for the story.

Movie Review Haiku

The Ninth Configuration

Fascinating mess
Theological treatise
Existence of God?

**1/2 Stars (out of 5)

Pitchers and Catchers and Strength Coaches (Oh My!)

The above is the cover of this month's Sports Illustrated:

Johan Santana has yet to throw a pitch for the Mets, but his arrival in camp has lifted the gloom from last season's historic collapse and given New York a reason to believe again.

It has been a long winter. As a NY Mets and NY Jets fan, life has been dull. Soporific. There has been a void. What kind of void? An empty void (Love and Death).
But wait! What's this?! A glimmer of hope?
Surely I'm not setting myself up to be disappointed again!?

The season is coming. The season is coming.

The four page article, here.

The Sabbath

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death's construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds.

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor.

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait 'til their judgement day comes.

Now in darkness world stops turning
Ashes where the bodies burning
No more war pigs have the power
Hand of God has struck the hour
Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees the war pig's crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan laughing spreads his wings.
-- War Pigs, Black Sabbath

relevant.

Friday PostiALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

click me

Do you know where this character is from?
If you do, I'll send you a check for fifteeALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

Movie Review Haiku

Sunshine

High Solar Tension
Within Kubrickian Space
When Sunny Gets Blue

**** stars (out of 5)