Far better than my amazon.com Wish List...

All I want for Christmas/Hanukkah this year is this:

STEYR-PUCH PINZGAUER
"The Swiss Army knife of military and off-road vehicles"
1973. 21,112 miles on the odometer.
Everything is in excellent condition. It runs and drives well.

Am I being silly? The clear answer is no. And if you love me, you'll find a way to make sure I'm driving this soon.
More specs and pictures HERE.

P.S. ...
as if i weren't already so deeply in love, the site shows the following photo/caption:

"Don't try this with any other type of vehicle. You'll need a Pinzgauer to pull it out!"

Sigh.
Thanks to Mark at Virtulaw.

Book Review Haiku

Hannibal Rising

Little Hannibal
Tries to repress heinous past
Yet cheeks taste too good

***1/2 Stars (out of 5)

Party like it's 5768.

It seems like just yesterday it was 5762.
Click on the braided dough for a primer on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.

Or, click here for a early photo of Rush
Or here, for a retrospective on Geoffrey Rush.

Since it's Tuesday, and my 10 year anniversary,

here is video footage of a kitten eating a melon.

A Rental Worth Your Time, or, ARWYT: "Azumi"

Azumi is the movie version of the popular Japanese Manga series of the same name. It is the story of children trained from tender young ages to be assassins. Azumi and the other "kids" are taught to be indestructible warriors; killing machines. It has a mind-blowingly harsh twist in the first 15 minutes which I cannot in good conscience give away...
Azumi was directed by visionary Ryuhei Kitamura (Verses). Ryuhei wanted to make sure the action sequences were realistic, so he used no stunt doubles, and had all the youngsters learning their intricate martial arts moves on the fly. The on-set squabbles between he and the film's Producer are well known, and documented in the DVD extras. It ain't easy to get what you want...
The apex of the film -- and this is a film -- is the climactic fight scene between our young Japanese pop star and an evil village of 200 lunatics.


I really enjoyed the performances -- the young actors are excellent, and I dig the whole "Japanese Oliver Twist" thing, wherein a "Fagin-like" character trains orphans to kill...
Bloody, heavy, very quirky and worth your time - a new kind of Samurai Film.

3 1/4 out of 5 Stars.

Let me know what you think...
AZUMI TRAILER

Saturday Night's alright for fighting...

“It’s just something I believe in and believe in strongly. I’m always going to do that. We ask our fans to buy a lot of pay-per-view and so I believe they deserve this. And I’m not going to be greedy and give them all of the good stuff on pay-per-view and put dog (expletive) on (basic cable) TV. I’m going to put our best guys on for them.”
-- UFC President Dana White on Saturday's free Fight Night

UFC 75

Date: Sept. 8, 2007
Location: London, England
Broadcast: Spike TV, 9pm (tape delay)

MAIN CARD

• PRIDE champion Dan Henderson vs. UFC champion Quinton Jackson
• Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic vs. Cheick Kongo
• Michael Bisping vs. Matt Hamill
• Houston Alexander vs. Alessio Sakara

Free, baby! For those of you who have never seen a night of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), Saturday would be a fine time to check it out... a GREAT card, with two Champions fighting each other, great personal drama, and Cro Cop: Croatia's head of their counter-terrorism unit (and Democratic Parliament Member).
Need a primer for Saturday (and why you should watch)? Email me. I will pitch you and sell you...

Fight Card: A-
UFC's overall packaging: D-

In celebration of a long week behind us...

Click on the good Captain to see a trinity of Shatner in "Seven"...

Glaring Spotlight on: "The Proposition"

The Proposition, or, This Land Will Be Civilized

"Australia. What fresh hell is this?"
-- Ray Winstone as Captain Stanley

The Proposition is an "extreme" Australian Western with a staggering cast of actors.
Guy Pearce, Ray Winstone, Emily Watson, and John Hurt make this an intriguing movie. A Screenplay and Score by Nick Cave put this over the top.
The backdrop to this film is the Australian Outback, and it plays a character all its own...
The music is beautiful, melancholy, and haunting.

Captain Stanley: Now, suppose I told you there was a way to save your little brother Mikey from the noose. Suppose I gave you a horse and a gun. Suppose, Mr. Burns, I was to give both you and your young brother Mikey, here, a pardon. Suppose I said that I could give you the chance to expunge the guilt beneath which you so clearly labor. Suppose I gave you till Christmas. Now, suppose you tell me what it is I want from you.
Charlie Burns: You want me to kill me brother.
Captain Stanley: I want you to kill your brother.

See it, and tell me what you think.

Movie Review Haiku: Superbad

Superb performance
trumps all juvenile humor.
Permission to laugh.

Spotlight on "Weegie", legendary photographer.

"Usher Felling" moved from Poland in 1909 to America, fleeing anti-semitism, and changed his name to Arthur. Haunting NYC, he was the only NY newspaper reporter with a permit to carry a portable police-band shortwave radio, and had a complete darkroom in the trunk of his car. He became known as "Weegie" (a play on Ouija) for his uncanny knack of arriving at crime scenes and emergencies...


Weegie had no training, but was known as a relentless self-promoter. His iconic images are widely regarded as classics of 20th century photography.



In 1958, he was credited as a Consultant and Still Photographer for Stanley Kubrick's "Dr. Stangelove or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb". Kubrick modeled the voice of the evil doctor after Felling's thick accent.



He published his book, Naked City, in 1945, to critical acclaim.

"He will take his camera and ride off in search of new evidence that his city, even in her most drunken and disorderly and pathetic moments, is beautiful."
- William McCleery in Naked City

Guilty.

My Friday 10

As inspired by Tommy at The Sticking Point, here is another installment
of "The 10", wherein you set your IPOD to Shuffle, let the Fates pick your
Top 10, and write about them. Try it and comment here.
We'll all feel better if you do...
And so, my 10:

1) Fela Kuti - Witchcraft - The '69 Los Angeles Sessions.
Frenetic and manic, and makes me move. Fela was an amazing character.
Along with being the African James Brown, he seceded from Africa
and declared his compound an independent country. And was
beaten to death for it.

2) Charcoal Blues - Wayne Shorter - Night Dreamer.
Wayne is my all time favorite musician. It is all weirdness and beauty.
This tune is so regal, so smooth. In my Lifetime Top 10.

3) Sabotage - The Beastie Boys - Ill Communication.
My favorite album from them, the one I feel has the most musicianship.
The song still fires me up.

4) Power of Love - Jimi Hendrix - Band of Gypsys.
"With the power, of Soul, anything is possible...". Man, this blues trio
makes me feel good and filthy.

5) The Same Boy You've Always Known - The White Stripes.
I really, really like this. And it IS pretty tough to think about the
beginning of December.

6) Sometimes - James Brown - Hell.
Classic R & B. Like china silk, this tune. So much passion, character,
and tone. "Sometimes... I've got to meet you on the
dark side of the street..."

7) You Don't Know What Love Is - John Coltrane - Ballads.
Whew. This song has been with me since I was 13. It is rainy-day
perfection and brings tears and reflection to my heart in an instant.
God, I think this may be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

8) Friends - Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin III.
Wonderful use of strings on this tune!
"Mmm, I'm telling you now, The greatest thing you ever can do now,
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now, It's very easy just...
So anytime somebody needs you, don't let them down, although it
grieves you, Some day you'll need someone like they do,
looking for what you knew."

9) The Dream of the Blue Turtles - Sting - (Album Title).
Funky Jazz thing. Fun and rang-y.

10) Quick and To The Pointless - Queens of the Stone Age - Rated R.
Awesomely awesome. I can vividly picture succubi in cheerleader
outfits singing "Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!". This tune is so much fun.

Blue Magnetic Eagle

"To be yourself, in a world that tries, night and day,
to make you just like everybody else -
is to fight the greatest battle there ever is to fight, and never stop fighting..."
~ E.E. Cummings

Movie Review Haiku

The Simpsons Movie


Not the face of God
yet happiness can be found
within Spider-Pig.

Mexican Adventure...

Indiana Heath, originally uploaded by candirufilms.

Click on the Image for more...

Movie Review Haiku

Live Free or Die Hard

How implausible
John McClane and the Mac guy
Make one's summer sweet

Babies: Total Freakin' Liars.

I've long held the contention that babies are among the most stupid of God's creatures,
and I've taken plenty of heat for it. Now comes this...
It was always believed that babies' tiny minds could not handle the more
difficult aspects of deception until the age of 4. A few months ago,
behavioural experts at the University of Portsmouth's Psychology
Department found that babies learn to lie at 6 months old.

From the article:

Infants quickly learned that using tactics such as fake crying and
pretend laughing could win them attention. By eight months,
more difficult deceptions became apparent, such as concealing
forbidden activities or trying to distract parents' attention.
By the age of two, toddlers could use far more devious techniques,
such as bluffing when threatened with a punishment.
Dr. Vasudevi Reddy said: "Fake crying is one of the earliest forms of
deception to emerge, and infants use it to get attention even though
nothing is wrong. You can tell, as they will then pause while they wait
to hear if their mother is responding, before crying again.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: babies are diabolical lifeforms.
The foundation of my long held belief that babies are morons received
a shocking hit today. They are not morons.
They are simply playing a horrifying game of possum with us all.
Watch your back, people...

Surely Oliver will save us...

Not there yet. But inching closer...

Finally, Carl Everett refuted!

* Carl Everett is a baseball player who has played for 8 different teams in his 14 years in the big league.

Here's Carl on dinosaurs:
-- “Didn’t exist. God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

* Carl Everett on the July 20, 1969 Moon landing by Neil Armstrong:
-- “Yeah, that could have happened. It’s possible. That is something you could prove. You can’t prove dinosaurs ever existed. I feel it’s far-fetched.”

* more Carl Everett on dinosaurs:
-- “First of all, paleontologists don't believe one another on their own discoveries. How can I believe in people who don't even believe in it themselves? Biblically, there's no mention of dinosaurs. According to the word of the Bible, Adam had dominion over all animals; according to man, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. So either God's a liar, or, well, I don't believe that God's a liar.”

* Carl Everett on dinosaur bones:
-- “You can make bones in the lab nowadays. And every year they come out with a different dinosaur movie, so does that mean that that dinosaur existed? A lot of things are being made that you would never see walk on this Earth.”

* Carl Everett on the reasons why nearly the entire scientific community believes dinosaurs existed:
-- “Why would they say a lot of things that aren't real? That's the thing. No one thinks for themselves. If everybody would think logically, then they would come to their own conclusions. That's what I do.”

The Fabulous Bomb...

This week, Edward Hammond of Berkeley's Sunshine Project used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of a proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "Chemicals that affect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.
The proposal was turned down, which was clearly a mistake.

More information is HERE.

... and all you have to do is... Play Ball...

"I was wrong for doing that stuff. What we should have done a long time ago was stand up -- players, ownership, everybody -- and said: 'We made a mistake.' "
-- Jason Giambi, USA Today, May 18

Yesterday Jason Giambi of the New York Yankees was told he must cooperate with Senator George Mitchell's Steroid Investigation within two weeks, and that the level of his cooperation will determine his fate.


"Any admission regarding the use of illegal performance-enhancing substances, no matter how casual, must be taken seriously. It is in the best interests of baseball for everyone, including players, to cooperate with Senator Mitchell in his investigation."
-- Bud Selig, MLB Commissioner


Here's some comments from Jason's teammates...

"To say either help us or you're suspended? I don't know. Bud Selig thinks he can do whatever he wants. It's like he is trying to do whatever he can."
-- Mike Mussina, RHP, (2-3, $11,070,423)

"I think it's a joke. [They] want you to talk, but if they don't like what you say they will punish you more. There should be no punishment in the first place."
-- Mike Myers, LHP (2.84 ERA, $1,250,000)

and finally, known Freedom Advocate Johnny Damon, OF (.264 BA, $13,000,000):

"I'm still trying to figure out what he's in trouble for -- freedom of speech? You can always go back and get someone in trouble for what they did in the past, whether it's stealing a pack of gum or whatever. It smells fishy. I still don't know what he did wrong by talking."

In other news,

All six fighters tested by the Nevada State Athletic Commission after last month’s UFC 71 event passed their tests for steroids and other banned substances.

Roger Dodger, or, Sizing up the Juggernauts!

...with a big nod to "Mondesi's House", here is the Tale of the Tape for this weekend's storied match-up between the Yankees and the Pirates...
(as of 6/3/07)

Records:

Yankees 23-30, .426

Pirates 24-32, .429

Payroll:

Yankees $195 million

Pirates $38 million

Top 5 salaries:

Yankees:

1. Alex Rodriguez $27.7 million.

2. Jason Giambi $23.4 million

3. Derek Jeter $21.6 million

4. Andy Pettitte $16 million

5. Bobby Abreu $15.6 million

Pirates:
1. Jack Wilson $5.4 million

2. Shawn Chacon $3.825 million

3. Jason Bay $3.5 million

4. Adam LaRoche $3.2 million

5. Tony Armas $3 million

Ownership:

Yankees: George Steinbrenner

Pirates: Kevin McClatchy and the Nuttings

Fans:

Yankees: Average 50,371 per game

Pirates: Average 19,442 per game

And there you have it! Just like Ali-Frazier, no? Go Bucs.

A Delicious Helping of Religion Pie...

Behold! Here is a pie, charting the adherents of the Major Religions of the world.

And the winner is... Christianity! Way to go!
My pick, Judaism, managed to make it into the "other" slice - a bitter slice with no filling whatsoever...

For more on this, and to see how many Rastafari there are, travel HERE.

Movie Review Haiku

So ridiculous
yet I can't turn away from
Summer Blockbusters.

2 3/4 Stars (out of 5)