Surreal Saturdays...

Saturdays sometimes feel surreal to me now.
Memories of a past life when responsibilities seemed fewer.
Worries a different, less opaque shade.

And so, safe save surreal sights:

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2009 Facebook Status Highlights

"The Butcher Bride" by Vince Churchill

The following is my Amazon.com review for Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride"...

(I love this guy's work)




Addictive, like "Paranormal Activity" dipped in liquid Cocaine.

Vince Churchill's "The Butcher Bride" is a book that you cannot put down.

Like a rusty tilt-a-whirl in Hell's official Theme Park, the story sets an erotically gruesome tone and only lets up because the author seems to sense that you'll need the occasional breath. It takes the classic "Haunted House" story and covers it in lye, burning away the extraneous to get to the sweet marrow that frightens us all.

In "The Butcher Bride", the author skewers not only the characters of the story, but the Media, Hollywood, and those types of people who slow down at traffic accidents hoping for a dark glimpse of Death itself. The writing is special in that the words leap off the page at you with such clarity you'll feel like you're watching a movie.

An enormously satisfying read, you'll be sucked into the pages, at times whimpering to be let out again.


Visit Vince at his site and tell him I said hello...
http://www.vincechurchill.com/

Movie Review Haiku

Paranormal Activity


hype-worthy high jinks
its only Achilles' heel
shaky-cam nausea

***1/2 Stars (out of 5)


Bonus.

Like a beautiful butterfly...

... with hideous dripping fangs.

Really?
Really, Universe?
You really feel this is best?
Sigh.

(curveball)

Well, times are a' changin' here at Heathenblog, and it either means the frequency of Posts and Quippy Updates will vastly increase or peter out entirely. We'll know soon enough.

(image unrelated, but makes me feel good)

It looks as if I'm starting a new job. A full time job. I'm not sure I can type it out.
More soon.

The Poet's Hovel.

to open up the inner eyes
to see behind, where clear thought
shies away from light,
away from spies
who'd hope to glean
their mask-less guise

And spoil life's one last great surprise.

into this void I'd dare to wade
where shapeless forms likely forbade
those like myself whose timelines braid
one starkly lit
one drenched in shade

Where lives go on but memories fade.

Movie Review Haiku

The adroit auteur
his love letter to war films
damp with Nazi blood

**** (4 Stars out of 5)

Movie Review Haiku

Religulous

Something to offend
all viewers lacking the knack
of patulous mind.

***** stars (out of 5)

Maudlin.

maudlin
–adjective

1.	tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental

Aohkigahara Forest, west of Tokyo at the base of Mount Fuji, is known as the "suicide forest."
There were 2,645 suicides recorded in January 2009, a 15 percent increase from the 2,305 for January 2008, according to the Japanese government. And so, a sign has been posted:


Translation:

Life is a gift you were given by your parents. Please think about them, the rest of your family, and any children you have. You don’t have to suffer by yourself, please give us a call (the Fuji Yoshida Police Counseling Service) and talk to us.


If you're still feeling "up"...
findagrave.com


And because balance is important, here's a box full of kittens.

Some Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die.

• Address the United States Congress.
• Own a Robot Manservant, and treat it so well that he'll protect me from the other Robot Manservants' when they rise against humanity.
  
• Travel to Russia and wear a furry hat.
• Be in a meeting where one of my advisers says "Sounds great! Well the first thing we'll need is a white robe."
  
• Find out the true meaning of my tattoo.
• Travel to Machu Picchu and nap in a shaded corner.
  
• Sit in my personal library surrounded by old paperback books, breathing deeply through my nose.
  
• Train for a Biathlon. Then subsequently realize what kind of commitment this actually entails. Spend the rest of the afternoon at White Castle.

In the meantime, here's some riddles (if you enjoy that kind of thing).

Things that make me sad...

The Rainbow Bridge

Alan Alda

Remakes

People who play Clowns

The New York Mets

Sigh.

My Secret Weapon Revealed.

"If you want to know how to play the blues, live beyond your means."
-- Eric Clapton

Things That Are Harder/Easier...

... now that I have a 4 month old.


Harder:

Going to the Movies.

Sleeping.

Blogging.


Easier:

Dancing.

Singing.

Smiling.


Here's a diversion...

Movie Review Haiku

Let The Right One In

inspired angle

coming-of-age's sweet ache

the twist Vampiric

trailer

**** stars (our of 5)

Spring is here! And STILL the Yankees Suck.

The HeathenBlog is going to completely ignore the snow pouring from the skies like volcanic ash that Bobby Jindal freely mocks, and give a hearty "huzzah!" for making it to Spring! It was a close one, but we did it.

Spring brings flowers. And locusts. But most importantly, baseball.
The WBC is a nice distraction from basketball (with a lowercase b), but we crave the excitement, pageantry, and wholesomeness that is Gary, Keith, and Ron.

We have high hopes for our team this year. What can possibly go wrong?

"Y'all got Honey Nut Cheerios up in here?"

Because he loves them, I love them. Who? Omar Little, from The Wire.
The HeathenBlog is headlong into Season IV, and was very skeptical of those trumpeting this show as "Best Drama Ever".

We'll see...

Magical.

The HeathenBlog is just a sucker for a great fight scene. Who among us can forget Shatner vs. Lizard-Man, Roddy Piper vs. Keith David.

Griffin vs. Bonnar.

Unless, of course, you are not obsessed with violence. Perhaps you should move your things to Switzerland.

Here is, I believe, a found jewel, with the building blocks -- the very atoms -- of what makes a fight scene so glorious. It's not unlike listening to Robert Johnson and realizing it's where Led Zeppelin sprang from.

"Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well."

with a nod to khoward, and his love of ketchup...

The Trilogy Meter...

Very well done, via Dan Meth.

(click to embiggen)

What say you, fearless (or, at least, reasonably hard-to-scare) reader?

Progenitor

Chief Tyrol, on being a father...

"It sucks... except the parts that don't."

New Favorite NY POST Front Page...

Apologies from The Heathen-Blog for our absentee-ism -- we've been a bit... distracted.

But not so distracted to hail our new favorite New York Post Front Page:



Hooray! Long Live The King!


For the record, here's our old favorite (albeit from The New York Daily News):

Lie.

The Heathen-Blog welcomes it's newest reader, Lila Rae.

I think you'll find her comments a bit childish, but have patience. We have big plans...

Lila Rae Mensher

1/18/09

8 lbs., 2 oz.

20 1/2 inches

Movie Review Haiku: The Salton Sea

The Salton Sea

"Tweakers" with a twist
Strong ensemble cast delights
in meth and role-play

**** (4 Stars out of 5)

Some Handy Tips for a Successful New Year...

...from Thelonious Sphere Monk.
He considered these things.
Perhaps we would all do well to do the same.


So for NYE, here's Monk doing Round 'Bout Midnight.



And my thoughts on the year? Best summed up by Love and Death:

Priest: "Mercifully, God was on our side."
Boris: "Yeah. I'm sure things could have gone a lot worse if He wasn't. It might have rained."

Finally.

The Heathen-Blog has so much to be thankful for this season.

Like this.

And this.

Also, this and this. And most certainly this.
Did I mention this? I bet I didn't.

Of course, it wasn't all fun and games... but here we stand, still.
Ready for a new year, full of vim and vigor.
And the future looks very promising.

Have a aggressively wonderful holiday, my cyber-friends...

hb

Heathen-Blog's Top Christmas CD

As someone who came rather late to the Christmas Party, I feel I am uniquely positioned to provide unbiased conjecture regarding Holiday Music.

Growing up a little Jewish boy, my only thoughts about the music from that other side of the aisle was that it was everywhere. And why did everyone look so happy? Thirteen years ago I found out.
Christmas can be pretty great.

So, here is my pick for Best Christmas CD:



Seriously. It's outstanding.

17 songs, each more happy and soulful than the last.

If you don't have this, and you need the spirit, get it.
If you're too strapped this season, write me. I'll get it for you.
James will shriek and implore you until the the spirit burrows into you.


A little taste is HERE.


And for my Jewish friends, perhaps this.